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In this heartfelt episode of the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide Podcast, Suzy Shaw speaks with UK author and educator Kate Markland about how storytelling became a lifeline during a painful separation from her young son. Limited to just one hour a week together, Kate used imagination, books, and collaborative storytelling to strengthen their connection, encourage emotional expression, and help her son become the hero of his own story.
What began as a deeply personal experience has grown into published books, school workshops, and StoryQuest Global, a project helping children build confidence, creativity, literacy, and communication skills through storytelling. This conversation offers practical inspiration for moms who want to connect more deeply with their boys while encouraging imagination, resilience, and self-belief.
Kate Markland is a UK author, educator, and former physiotherapist who transformed a heartbreaking separation from her young son into a powerful storytelling journey. Limited to just one hour a week of contact, Kate began creating imaginative adventures with her son, Gabriel, encouraging him to become the hero of his own stories. What started as a way to stay emotionally connected evolved into a growing collection of books, companion journals, and creative resources designed to help children build confidence, literacy, creativity, and emotional expression.
Today, Kate is the founder of StoryQuest Global and Stories Without Borders, initiatives that encourage children around the world to create, share, and celebrate their own stories. Through school workshops, podcasts, and collaborative storytelling projects, Kate helps children become creators instead of consumers while giving parents and educators practical tools to strengthen communication and self-belief. Her work highlights the powerful role storytelling can play in helping boys express themselves, test ideas safely, and develop character through imagination.
The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Consult with a qualified professional for specific guidance.
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What happens when life seems to take almost everything but leaves you one powerful way to stay connected?
Plato said, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” And when Kate Markland was separated from her young son during a difficult divorce and limited to just one hour a week of contact, necessity led her to something no one could take away, his imagination.
During their calls, Kate began encouraging her son’s storytelling, helping him become the hero of his own adventures while strengthening the bond between mother and son. What began as heartbreak became connection and eventually a powerful reminder that storytelling can help boys build confidence, creativity, and character.
Today, Kate, a mother from England, joins us to share how storytelling can become a meaningful tool for moms who want to connect more deeply with their sons. Welcome, Kate.
Kate Markland: Thank you very much, Suzy, for that lovely, lovely introduction.
Suzy Shaw: Well, you know, you have lived through something many moms would consider unimaginable, and many other moms have probably lived through themselves. So, you know, both ends of the spectrum becoming separated from your young son is just a painful chapter. Can you take us back to how old he was at that time and when you decided that storytelling might be a key to communication?
Kate Markland: Yeah, it was the week before his 10th birthday. He was removed from my care in the UK by armed police, which people don’t want to believe occurs here, but it does. And I’ve since discovered I’m not alone as well. And it was brutal. Absolutely brutal, Suzy. Heavy, heavy bang on the door. Oh. And they came for a nine-year-old boy.
About a month later, we were all back in court, and I really understood the level of malevolence I was up against. And mocked, we turned 10 in that month, and I was mocked in terms of how was I going to speak to my son for an hour, a 10-year-old for an hour. And I remember at the time thinking, I can speak to my son for an hour. And also thinking, you have no idea how much he loves a story.
And I was absolutely battered and shell-shocked, and I knew he would be as well. And I went into his bedroom, and I just picked up a very illustrated copy of a Michael Morpurgo book called The Puffing Keeper. And it was simply because it was a book that was age-appropriate that had the most pictures in it. He just loved listening to oral stories. And when he’d got to six or seven, and started to read their own bedtime books, and he still wanted a bedtime story. And I remember looking at my mum, “Really?” And she said, “Yes, I read to you, your brother, until the end of junior school.” Which she did. We’d have a family bedtime story, and then go to our own rooms and read our own books. Which meant that I had to read, I don’t know, various Roald Dahl revolting rhymes with my brother. My brother got subjected to Black Beauty, and other books he’d perhaps not have chosen to read. So I did. And I then very consciously would read to him at bedtime things that he might not choose to read himself, because that’s what I thought there’s the value in this, reading something a little bit more advanced, or something that might be considered a girl’s book, or, you know.
Of course, there were times when I would just be too tired to read to him. You just could, you know, and so we’d just make up stories. And most of the stories were aquatic-based, and mostly there was a blue whale in them. Very friendly. So sometimes we play with the story dice as well.
So we end up in this diabolical situation. It just seems absolutely obvious to me that we’re going to read. That’s the way we’re going to start. We’re just going to reconnect with our shared enjoyment of stories. And so I just began reading to him this Michael Mopergo book, Puffin Keeper. And there was a program on here on TV when I was a child called Jackanory, where various celebrities would read, and you’d look at the pictures with them, and you know, they’d read a book in the week. And that’s basically what we were doing, like Jackanori. I was reading, looking at the pictures, and then we’d had some conversation around it.
And this went on for, I don’t know, it probably took us about four or five weeks to read this Puffin Keeper. And then in the meantime, somebody had sent Gabriel a book about a boy’s invention book, and he wanted to read that back to me, which he did. And then I got a couple of whiteboards, and we just started playing Noughts & Crosses, Hangman and pen and paper games.
And then I got an illustrated copy of Treasure Island, and we started working our way through that. And of course, the protagonist in Treasure Island is a little boy called Jim, and granddad’s called Jim. So I think it was almost obvious that when we’d finished Treasure Island, I just said to Gabriel, “Should we make up a story where you’re the hero?” And his instant answer was, “Yes, I wanted to feed a sea monster.” And it just starts like you would have at bedtime. It starts telling me what he wants to do in your story. And I thought to capture it.
And I think that’s the bit that people have said, you know, lots of people do this, make up stories with their kids or listen to their kids’ stories.” But I thought to capture it. And I don’t think I would have if we hadn’t been in this diabolical situation, because we’d made up plenty of stories before and had never written a word down. I just start taking notes on what he’s saying, and I used to be a physiotherapist, and physiotherapists don’t write paragraphs, you take notes. So I’m just capturing, as he’s telling me, I’m just capturing notes.
Suzy Shaw: And physiotherapist, you know, for the English audience, is a psychologist?
Kate Markland: Yeah, a physical therapist. Do you call us a physical therapist? Physical therapist.
Suzy Shaw: Okay, thank you.
Kate Markland: Over this period of time, so we’re probably about five months into this separation, I initially started writing to him like every single day, just a little postcard or something. I just thought, “You’ve got to know I love you. You’ve got to know I love you, and then we’ll figure out anything after that.”
And then when he said to me, “Mum, I know you love me. You don’t need to write to me every day.” I write to you every week. So I’d literally got the calendar and looked, you know, it was Valentine’s, Chinese New Year, St. David’s, say whatever it was, and I’d send a parcel that week, and that theme, and it’d be cookies. It would be, I don’t know, whatever shells I’d found on the beach, anything.
So I was starting to run out of ideas after several months of doing this. And so I had the idea that if I took notes, I could type it up in a little bit like Dickens, we could make stories every week, and I’d send him a folder, and then he could, I’d send him then what we’d made up every week, and he could slot it into his folder. Well, that never quite happened. The folder became my laptop. And so I was just started having had this idea. He told me what he wanted. I had this idea then of extending it and adding in, by now, the metaphor is, I know he knows I love him, the metaphor I’m adding in is just don’t give up. Whatever you do, I still don’t know what we’re going to do, Gabriel, but just don’t give up. If you don’t quit, we’ll find a solution to this. Don’t know what we’ll do, but don’t quit, don’t quit.
And I knew, again, from physiotherapy days, you can’t motivate people, but you can inspire them. But if somebody loses their motivation, their internal motivation, you’re lost. You can’t get it back. So that’s what, just don’t give up on me, Gabriel. If you don’t give up on me, we’ll figure something out.
So that’s the majority of what I was adding in to the first book, sorry. And then I would read back to him every week. So he told me what he wanted, then I would add my extensions and metaphor, and then I’d read it back to him. And then on reading back, he added his edits. “No, Mum, I wouldn’t just walk past an owl, an owl would give me a clue or a puzzle.” What would that be, then, Gabriel?
Suzy Shaw: So let me ask you, because one of the things that I think is the most interesting about how you did this, having had younger… I have two sons, they’re now in their later 20s. But trying to have even a sentence of conversation with them sometimes was difficult, like pulling teeth. And so on one hand, one hour seems like a very short amount of time. And on another hand, it could be a painful hour. So what I think is brilliant about what you did is you found this platform of imagination to have this connection and conversation with your son. And through that, it just sort of organically developed into stories, right? Is that what you would…
Kate Markland: Yeah, I think you’re absolutely right there. And if we’d just been staring at the screen at each other, just saying, “How was your school? How’s the week?” We would have very quickly lost connection. But this co-creation gave us a purpose.
And I also remember realizing at one point that Gabriel had done martial arts since he was very little and had a very strong relationship with his martial arts teacher. But on average, the amount of time he probably spent with his martial arts teacher was an hour a week, but it was an intentional hour. And I remember it dawning on me that, again, I like swimming, but I learned to swim in probably less than an hour a week. But I remember Mr. Barber, my first swimming teacher very well. And so I thought, “Actually, there is a lot of power in an hour if you’re intentional with it.”
So I would almost prepare for the hour, right? We’ve got this week’s story. We’ve got the images so Gabriel could choose which of the images that we created. He was wanted in his books. And so there was a conversation about, “How’s your week?” But then we’d get down to business, if you like. Here’s what I’ve edited this week. Now choose your pictures.
And then as we started to get more and more press, I’d be showing him every week the media we’re getting. And then he starts driving me. It’s like, “I’ve had the best business mentor ever.” “Mom.” Well, it was him that said to me, “It’s a book,” when I showed him that I’d put all the… Because it was literally a mess on my desktop. And then I put it all into a Word document just so I could see my desktop. And then I flipped my phone round to show him, “Mom, it’s a book. It’s a book.” And I hadn’t seen that it was a book, but because of the situation you’re in, I can’t say no to that.
And then later he said, once we started getting a little bit of press, “I’ve been on the radio.” That was the first thing. “Mom, use all your skills. Use all your skills.” “Well, okay, Gabriel, I’ve got to use all my skills.” So, again, still not knowing really what we’re going to do, but just use all your skills. All right, okay.
And what’s happened very recently though, because that’s really interesting, that observation that, yeah, it can be like pulling teeth with boys. And again, I know that from physiotherapy days, if we’d had teenage boys come into the clinic, we would try and put them with young male physios because they just saw you as an older woman like your mum and they didn’t want to talk. They didn’t want to open up. But what’s been very interesting, I mean, just this weekend on Sunday, Gabriel led the conversation. He had lots of questions he wanted to ask about his situation, and he was leading the conversation.
And within about a month ago, something similar happened. He said, “Mom, I’ve watched a film that you wouldn’t like.” And he said, “Gable, I know that’s going to happen. But I just got to trust you. I’ve got to trust you, right from wrong, an action from violence.” And then he really delved into, what does it mean to me to trust him? And it really struck me that it was a very mature conversation for a 12-year-old. But I don’t think on reflection we’d have had that level of conversation if we hadn’t been doing these books. Because in the process of co-creating these books, especially in book two, there was a lot more emotion. In book three, there’s even more emotion. We’ve used fantasy to talk about all sorts of different things. And now it’s actually become safe for him to talk about more meaningful things in reality.
Suzy Shaw: So I bought your and Gabriel’s book, and this is the first one (The Adventures of Gabriel). And it’s six short stories of adventure and has very, almost like gaming kinds of illustrations in it, very fantastical.
Kate Markland: Yeah, that was really important. It’s been quite interesting how important that is for the children because when Gabriel was getting a better and better reader of seven, eight, pictures leave books. And he was quite disturbed, not disturbed, but bothered by this. It’s like, just because I’m a better reader doesn’t mean I don’t want good pictures. So it was quite important. I knew it was important to him that we still had good pictures in the books. And when we’ve taken them into schools, the pictures and also the puzzles or riddles in the books are something the children really like. It makes it feel a bit interactive to them. And then they’re wanting to do similar in their stories.
Suzy Shaw: So, when did you realize that this connection was going to transform into something so big? And now, how many books do you have now?
Kate Markland: So the first books that you have there, and there’s a coloring book that was a companion to that. Then the second book came out in October, Just Gone, which was one proper continuous story. And we did a journal alongside that. And book three will be out this autumn, which again is one proper story. But the companion book to that is going to be a little toddler series. And he’s already planned a book.
We’re aiming for a book a year and a companion book a year up until he’s 18, at which point you can write his own.
Suzy Shaw: And mama’s off the hook after that. So tell me about when you realized this was going to be something more, that this was actually going to be a tangible product and just not a mom and son project.
Kate Markland: I think that is still dawning on me, Suzy. But when I realized that I had to really put some proper effort in this was when the first book came out, it was a big literature festival here in the UK, Chilton literature festival. It’s one of the biggest literature festivals. And it’s a town that my parents live in. So I went to the literature festival, and I just bought a 30-pound wristband that gave you access to anything that hadn’t sold out. And it was a complete blessing that I ended up in conversation with Helen Fielding, who’s the author of all the Bridget Jones series. And obviously I’m of Bridget Jones’ generation. And she described what she thought she’d done as magic was as a 20-year-old she’d written for other 20-year-olds. And then when her book came out, she was at the literature festival talking about as a 50-year-old, she was writing to 50-year-old women. And she was very, very clear that as a 50-year-old, she was not going to be writing for 20-year-olds today. So she thought the magic was when you wrote for your own generation.
And what I reflected on at that point was a family friend who was a teacher, who had said similar to me to get the book out because there was very little where it’s a child’s imagination inspiring other children. And I’d also reached out to a child’s psych, I just knew from LinkedIn in the States, and she’d said the same. So I thought, right, we’ve got three people now. We’ve got a serious author, a former head teacher with interest in creative writing and a child’s psych all coming from different geographic areas, not knowing each other, all saying the same thing. And that was the point I was like, okay, this is, we are onto a thing.
And within the, it was all in October, um, 2024, I think this in the same month, a friend invited me to his networking thing. And he said, ” You’re not speaking about business. You’re not speaking about healthcare. You’re talking about that book.” And I got through about a 10-minute talk and then burst into tears afterward. But anyway, I got through it.
And the biggest question I was asked in the room was how did you do it? What was your process? I was like, ” What do you mean?” And I was repeatedly asked what was your process for attracting a child’s story. And I was getting asked this by former teachers, parents, grandparents, retired social workers, people that I would have thought knew it. I was like, I couldn’t comprehend the question. And then about the fifth time of asking it dawned on me that clearly what I was doing, which is exactly what you do from a journalistic background, is what I’d done for 20 years as a physiotherapist was to extract somebody’s story, build rapport, ask a series of open-ended questions and close down when you need to.
So I thought, well, if there is a process to this, it’s exactly what I’ve done for 20 years as a physio. And you’re only doing one executive function at a time. You’re speaking your story; nobody goes to a physio with their story written down. You speak your story, the physio captures the words, and captures the meaning. And the answer always lies within the story.
So there was an invitation then to try this in schools and school workshops. And we did exactly the same. One child is a storyteller, their friend is a scribe, and they swap over. The child who’s been the hero of their own story only has one executive function: to share their imagination. The one who’s the scribe is just capturing it and “tell me more, tell me more, pulling out more detail.” And teachers couldn’t believe the results because there’s nothing more purposeful for a child than their own story. But we’ve got to remove all these barriers of correction and the fear that as soon as you make a mark on a white piece of paper, that you’re more likely to be wrong than you are right. But when they’re liberated to express themselves and they can only be right because it’s their story, so they can’t possibly be wrong, the results were phenomenal.
Suzy Shaw: Right. So it strikes me today because of this generation and technology and AI and speech-to-text and digital photos and creative apps, that this is so much more accessible than it frankly was when I was just 20 years old with my sons. I think you’re so right when you say that the boys want to be the heroes of their own story. So if you were talking to a mom who’s just trying to get started and is encouraged by this idea, what would you tell them, just like those other people in the event?
Kate Markland: You’re looking for the opening. You’re looking for the opening, like I know Gabriel used to tell me all sorts of things when we were on bike rides, when you’re parallel, we weren’t face to face. So maybe it’s when you’re on a bike ride, you start playing with making up a story, something that you encounter. Or maybe it’s an audio CD in the car rather than the iPad, you happen to forget the iPad, or the battery is flat on it, whatever. So you’ve got some audiobooks in the car, or it’s at bedtime or dinnertime. You’re just looking for that opening.
I mean, one of the things we used to do was, and we’ve been in a difficult situation for a long time, so one of the things I used to do at the end of every day was ask, “Who ever was at the dinner table with us? What were the three highlights of the day, the three wins of the day?” But one of those could be, “Oh, I think, how does that become a story?” But you’re just looking for that opening where they open up. The three wins of the day worked well because we just did it at the dinner table. So if we had friends for dinner or granny and granddad for dinner, everybody would answer it. And sometimes it could be the simplest thing. Granny was delighted that a flower bloomed, something in a garden bloomed or whatever; it doesn’t matter what it is.
But that just started to open, just created an opening. And then for everybody at the dinner table is then playing along with being the hero of their own story, or when we pass the parcel, we make a sentence, and you just structure something by passing a sentence around and extending it. But you’re just looking for that little window on a bike ride in the car at the dinner table, where it’s not pressure. This isn’t schoolwork. It isn’t homework. It’s just a play. It’s play. And it’s giving the children the opportunity to become creators rather than consumers because they are brilliant storytellers. They’ve got, with TikTok, YouTube, Netflix, the games, they know the structure of a story innately because they’re consuming it. But what we’re forgetting is that we just need to create the opportunity for them to be the creators because it’s all in there. We just need to be the facilitator that allows them to express themselves.
Suzy Shaw: And we have recorded a couple of podcasts on communication, and this is sort of an element of all that.
And one of the things that I can share with parents is that when you’re interviewing, there’s something called active listening. And active listening is, I feel like a lost art these days, right? But it is actually shaking your head and listening and keeping your mouth closed, but engaging with the person. And so they just continue to speak and continue to speak. And I presume you and Gabriel had that sort of relationship.
Kate Markland: Yeah, exactly. And I think something that, again, I hadn’t… What you’re doing with me, but I hadn’t realized, seems to be a lost art: the verbal handshake. So as part of the active listening, you are then repeating back. So this is what I’ve understood, which gives the other person a chance to say, “Yeah, or no, I mean this.” So you’re using curiosity and the active listening just to facilitate them being able to articulate their story. And when they get stuck, that’s fine.
So I’m going to give you one example: Gabriel straight away, and you wanted to defeat a sea monster. Well, what’s a sea monster called? I don’t know, but it’s blue. All right. Okay. So you pull out information and then a week later I went back with some suggestions of ideas and names. I thought of some names. Then he made up his own name, but you’re helping them find the clarity and this verbal handshake where you’re, “This is what I understand and any gaps.” Do you mean this? Do you mean that? Oh, no, no. That’s what I mean. Onwards. But you’ve got to come at it that they can’t be wrong. It can be a co-creation, but it’s their story.
Suzy Shaw: Right. Well, so your books are… Yours and Gabriel’s books are taking off, and bravo with all the companions- the coloring books, and the journals and everything. And as you alluded to earlier, this has begun to go into schools and classrooms. So how did this connection begin with storytelling and literacy and all this self-confidence?
Kate Markland: So I can’t teach spelling or grammar, but what I could realize I could teach was self-expression, because that’s basically what I’d spent 20 years doing, which was helping people express their story.
And this family friend, in a city in the north of the UK called Bradford, had been a teacher there. And she’s a retired teacher and her big love and school inspector and her big love had been creative writing. And she said, “Come on, Kate. Let’s go and… She’s back at me. Come on, let’s go and try this in a workshop.” So she arranged the first workshop. And we had 60 children in a quite deprived city center school. They loved it. They absolutely loved it.
And we had children that we didn’t know because we asked quite specifically. Well, we didn’t, we now ask, but at the time we didn’t. The teachers didn’t tell us what labels the kids had got. So we didn’t know to be surprised when some boys were putting their hands up to share their story verbally in the classroom, that that child never speaks in class, that child’s autistic. We had no idea. So we had no educational bias because we didn’t know. So we were just seeing the brilliance.
And then there was one school that we went to, which was on the edge of the city. It’s a very hilly area. So the school’s on top of the hill and it looks down across the city. And the children realized, “You’re doing this across other schools.” Yeah. “Well, most of our books are written by celebrities. I don’t want to read the celebrity’s book anymore. I want to read my friend, the children’s stories across the other schools.” Well, if your teachers are happy with that, we can publish your stories and make them all available.
And then there was another school in a different city. There were one of the boys and he was in year five. So he was nine, 10. He was trying to sort out the Middle East conflict in his story. And his mate turned round to him and said, “You’re right. How on earth are you going to do that?” He said, “Well, we’re going to sit down and have a cup of tea. And when we’ve worked it out, we’ll have a pizza party.” He was so pragmatic about it all.
So that gave an idea that maybe the children’s stories, because there’s a high level of morality in them, can cross borders that politicians and grownups can’t because they’re creating this connection and this shared enjoyment of… they’re essentially co-creating a new genre.
Suzy Shaw: So you have something called Stories Without Borders. I presume this is where this is going. So what is this?
Kate Markland: So Stories Without Borders is the… Story Quest is the process, if you like, but Stories Without Borders is the platform, the podcast where the children’s stories are published. So the new genre of children creating for children is… Because it’s borderless. There’s no geographic border. There’s no border with regard to their educational bias or age. It’s just kids co-creating for kids.
Suzy Shaw: And can any kids participate in this or any schools?
Kate Markland: Yes, you can just visit StoryQuestGlobal.com. You can find out how to take part as a parent or a school leader. And I’m sure that this school leader.
Suzy Shaw: And I’m sure that this will expand as it becomes more fully developed since this is a new project.
Kate Markland: Yes, we’d really like to invite more and more international schools to take part. And we’re hoping to have our first school in Argentina take part. So that’ll obviously open up some Spanish stories as well so that we’re inviting the opportunity that this really is borderless and children can listen to each other’s own imagination and own self-expression in English or in English with an American accent or English with an Indian accent or in Spanish or just get unconnected.
Suzy Shaw: Well, back again to technology, because all of this is so much easier. I mean, you can literally upload a story and pick an automated voice, and it will recite this story back to you and whatever language you want.
Kate Markland: Absolutely. So some of the children have orated their stories themselves, and then some of them I’ve orated it. It just depends on the permissions from the schools.
Suzy Shaw: I do love the child reading their own story aspect of it because an AI is just not going to understand the inflection or the power of an event.
Kate Markland: Oh, they are so proud. The children’s feedback and things they know. I feel like a superhero, or they recognize it. The only superpower you need is imagination, or I feel like a real author from another planet. What it does for their own self-belief and their own aspirations is so powerful. It’s like they really believe in themselves and all they needed to see was there’s another 10-year-old that’s done it. What if they can do it? I can do it.
Suzy Shaw: So what advice do you have for moms listening who might feel distanced from their son physically like you were? You can feel that way with them down the hall. What is your advice for them?
Kate Markland: I think the first two principles I went with is you need to know I love you. It’s unconditional. It’s absolutely unconditional. I love for you. Then the second one is just knowing you’re never ever ever going to give up on them. They eventually pick up on that. It would be two and a half years at Gabrielle had been in this situation , and literally on Sunday, 48 hours ago, he asked me a question about why I was doing this. I could reply directly, knowing I could look him in the eye, saying, “Because I’m never quitting on your darling.” He beamed. But that’s been two and a half years of perseverance. You just make the decision that your love is absolutely unconditional to them and also that you’re never ever ever going to give up on them and that you can look them in the eye and answer any question that they need to ask you at any point in time with integrity, then it will dissolve because your child will pick up on that. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but they will pick up on that.
Then the next part of it is that you’re recognizing you’re the facilitator. You’re not the manager, you’re not the director of their life, you’re the facilitator, you’re their mum, you’re to facilitate their dreams, their voice, their expression.
Suzy Shaw: We just celebrated Mother’s Day this past weekend. It’s just so fun to see your children become who they are. You’re doing it with them at a young stage now through the stories, but now those critical character-building themes are going to manifest in a life and bravo.
Kate Markland: I think that’s actually that word character as well, is that recognizing that through this process, your child gets to determine the character they want to be. They get to determine the character that steps off the page into their adult life.
Suzy Shaw: Is there anything that we haven’t talked about that you would want to share?
Kate Markland: I think the only other thought is, with regards to the importance of storytelling, is it’s a really safe space for children to test their philosophies. Again, if they can’t be wrong, they get to test out all kinds of solutions to all sorts of problems, whether it’s sea monsters, whatever it is. They can’t be wrong because it’s safe. It’s that philosophy that they develop in childhood that’s then going to determine the actions they take and the decisions they make as an adult, which in turn will affect the results they get as an adult. It’s a really safe way for not just to express emotions, but also to play with their philosophies for life without being able to be wrong.
Suzy Shaw: Right. There are no repercussions of reality.
Kate Markland: That will help you have confidence that you’re empowering them to be able to make good decisions for themselves and set them up for success too.
Suzy Shaw: Love that. So, Kate, at the end of every podcast, I ask our guests to share a mantra, something you might have said to yourself as you were trying to figure out what to do next in this chapter. Did you have one?
Kate Markland: Yeah. So my grandfather was a great monologue or a great storyteller, and I used to ask him again and again and again for his monologues. The one that stuck in my head that I would say every single morning was Kipling’s “If.” Without that, I don’t know how I’d have got myself out of bed, never mind this far.
So the first verse is what I’d hear in my head every single morning in his broad Yorkshire accent:
During the podcast, Kate shared the opening lines of Rudyard Kipling’s poem If—, which became a source of strength during one of the most difficult seasons of her life. We’ve included the full poem below because its message of perseverance, character, and resilience so beautifully reflects the themes of this conversation.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
And I won’t read all the rest of it, but that first verse every morning would just keep me persevering.
Suzy Shaw: Thank you for sharing and for you and Gabriel being an inspiration to moms and boys and sons and, you know, the future of adulting. I want to let our listeners know that you can go to the mothersofboys.life website, and I will include all the resources and links to your book. Is there a website that you specifically would like to mention?
Kate Markland: If you visit storyquestglobal.com, you’d be able to access everything about me, about the books and also listen to other children’s stories and inspire your own children to submit this. Yeah.
Suzy Shaw: Love it. Thank you, Kate. Appreciate you joining us.
Kate Markland: Thank you so much for having me, Suzy.
Suzy Shaw: If this episode meant something to you, please follow and share the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn. Sharing helps other moms discover the show. Be kind to yourself, moms.
