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Why Communication With Boys Is Different (and How to Make It Easier) Boys are often described as ‘distracted,’ but the truth is—they’re incredibly tuned in. They notice your tone before your words, your posture before your questions, and your mood before you open your...
Ever wonder what’s really going on inside your son’s head? In this eye-opening episode, international speaker and bestselling author Mike Kuczala joins Suzy Shaw and Cheryl Bohn to unpack how boys’ brains develop from birth through young adulthood. From rough-and-tumble play to teen risk-taking, Mike explains why movement matters, how emotional and cognitive growth unfold, and what parents can do to support boys every step of the way. Whether you’re raising a toddler, a teen, or a full-fledged “man cub,” this episode offers practical tools and brain-based insights for parenting with confidence.
Mike Kuczala is an internationally recognized keynote speaker, bestselling author, and educational innovator whose work has transformed how movement is integrated into learning. As co-author of the Corwin bestseller The Kinesthetic Classroom—along with titles like Training in Motion, Ready, Set, Go!, and The Peak Performing Teacher—he has inspired over 200,000 educators, trainers, and parents across four continents.
Mike serves as President of Kuczala Consulting and Executive Director of the Regional Training Center, where he oversees graduate-level professional development for teachers in Pennsylvania, Maryland, New Jersey, and beyond. With a background as a certified fitness/wellness consultant, former competitive bodybuilder, and trained music educator (BA in Music, Kutztown University; MA in Music Education, University of Northern Colorado), Mike brings a unique blend of research-backed strategies and high-energy delivery to every session. His latest book, Move More, Learn More, was published by Teachers College Press in the fall of 2025.
The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Consult with a qualified professional for specific guidance.
Raising Boys with Brains and Mind: A Guide to Their Development.
Cheryl Bohn: Welcome to the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast. I’m Cheryl Bohn, and I’m joined by co-host Suzy Shaw.
Suzy Shaw: So Cheryl, every mom wants to know what is really going on inside our son’s heads. I said to my boys, probably for two decades, I expect you to think for yourself, which you would think would be obvious, but it really isn’t. And by the time they were teenagers, that was shortened to just me begging as they went out the door, think, think.
Cheryl Bohn: Well, good news. In this podcast, we dive into the fascinating worlds of boys’ brain development from birth through young adulthood. Guest expert Mike Kuczala explains how movement, environment, and emotional support shape how boys learn, grow, and thrive. Whether you’re raising a toddler, a teen, or somewhere in between, understanding the science behind their development can help you parent with more confidence and connection.
Mike is an international speaker, bestselling author of four books, The Kinesthetic Classroom: Teaching and Learning Through Movement, Training in Motion, How to Use Movement to Create Engaging and Effective Learning, Ready, Set, Go: The Kinesthetic Classroom 2.0, and The Peak Performing Teacher: Five Habits for Success.
Mike also serves as a CEO of the Regional Training Center in New Jersey, where he provides strategic leadership and professional guidance for graduate-level programs supporting thousands of educators across Pennsylvania, Maryland, and New Jersey. He is an expert in movement-based learning and motivation and has inspired thousands of educators, parents, and professionals with his dynamic approach to teaching, training, and personal development. Welcome, Mike.
Mike Kuczala: Thank you for having me. I appreciate being here.
Suzy Shaw: We appreciate you being here and adding some more content and understanding about our boys’ development. And I purchased your book, which is Ready, Set, Go: The Kinesthetic Classroom 2.0, and right in the preface, you say, “learning doesn’t happen from the neck up, it happens from the feet up.” And I thought that that might be a really good place for us to start.
Mike Kuczala: Sure. So I love that quote because we are brain-body creatures. You can’t get away from it. And the more you know about the brain-body connection, the more you can use it to your advantage versus it taking advantage of you. It’s pertinent in all our lives every moment. And so being aware of it makes you a better teacher. It’s possible for you to live a more well life. There’s a lot of facets to it.
And so we weren’t meant to learn just with our heads because the brain and body are connected. I mean, frankly, the brain develops to move. It’s an outward extension of our brain. And so as a child, as a newborn, the brain stem is really in full force, basic body functions. And the brain kind of develops from the bottom up all the way through emotion and then up through higher order thinking skills.
Cheryl Bohn: So that is kinesthetic learning, right? Yes. Can you explain it a little bit? That’s your specialty.
Mike Kuczala: Sure. And essentially, and you know, I want to say off the off the bat that it’s not just for little kids at all. I can explain it in terms of the very first book, the Kinesthetic Classroom: Teaching and Learning Through Movement. And it is about using movement in different ways. Some, as you observe, are done spontaneously. Some of these types of activities and learning takes place in a written lesson plan. It’s more involved.
And so, it’s using movement to prepare the brain to learn. We can act. We know that you can do activities to help get the brain ready for learning. We can use brain breaks to get blood flow and revive attention. We can support exercise and fitness in the classroom. We know how important, critical that is and what it does for the brain. And you can also build community and create class cohesion through movement. You can review content through movement. You can teach new content through movement. So, there’s really quite a lot of ways to use movement in a teaching and learning experience of all ages.
Cheryl Bohn: So, this is going to be, you know, a lifetime skill set. We’re going to hear some tips that we basically can use not only for our kids, but for ourselves throughout our lifetime.
Mike Kuczala: Of course, as I get older, what I know, you know, I don’t do well, let me say this. I don’t look at exercise as this support for my anymore for my muscles, for my circulatory structures and bone structures and lungs, et cetera. That’s all very important. But I look at it as a protective factor for my brain and what it does for mood and what it does for, you know, hopefully preventing depression and anxiety.
And so I’m looking at a more holistic approach to exercise. And one of my mantras to me personally, even at, you know, at my age is to be physical every day. And that is, you know, birth through the end of life.
Suzy Shaw: So, Mike, can we start sort of at the beginning of development with the young, you know young babies and toddlers and in those early years? How is a boy’s brain or is it a boy’s brain any different than a girl’s brain? And how can we support this kinesthetic learning behavior?
Mike Kuczala: Yes, so they are different. There’s many, many, many, many more similarities than differences, but they are different. And I think before I start off in this conversation, I’d like to say that I am not a pediatrician. I’m not a psychiatrist or a pediatric psychologist, but I do have a background in the brain and really enjoy the topic.
So, at birth, a boy’s brain is significantly bigger, but it has less gray matter than a girl’s brain. It has more white matter. Boy’s amygdala, which is, you know, supports emotion and really deals with emotion in the brain bigger in boys, not as big in girls. Her hippocampus is bigger, which deals very important to learning and memory. A girl’s corpus callosum, which connects our two hemispheres, is thicker in girls than boys, which could explain the fact that women are better at multitasking. A man’s brain is more very specific and pinpointed.
So, they’re different in that way. Again, many more similarities. And, you know, as far as support for early years, I would say that what you already know is good parenting. That’s a child needs to be loved. A child needs experiences. They just want to be with you. And so, the more children have those experiences with their families and the people that they’re around, the more that brain is going to develop as it should.
You know, a lot of milestones happen. I’ll say this, too, and they are milestones. You know, things like turning over, you know, turning over, rolling over, going from back to stomach, et cetera, moving on to crawling, moving on to walking. Those are all big cognitive milestones, and so they need to be supported. They are celebrated. They, you know, there’s Instagram posts and we send pictures, videos, look at this. But they’re really important from the brain’s perspective. And they as best we can, we should try to keep them in order. You know, walking before crawling could not always, but could be problematic later in life.
And so, yeah, there’s the love. It’s the experience. It’s the touch. It’s the holding all of that good stuff that is good parenting. That’s what they need.
Suzy Shaw: I called my boys and in my book Ernest and Exuberance, and very, very different boys but when they were little rough play, I mean, it was like having a couple of puppies rolling around all the time. So that sort of physical play, how important is that to development?
Mike Kuczala: Yeah. So I want to just go back a little bit and then I’ll hit your question. It’s a really great question. I just want the audience to know that I have boy and girl twins. And so, they’re 28 now. So I got to watch this side by side.
And I do want to say one more thing. A female has language processors in both hemispheres of the brain, and a boy has it basically in the left hemisphere. And the left hemisphere of the brain seems to be delayed- development seems to be delayed because of higher levels of testosterone in boys. And so I watched this happen side by side. My daughter used to finish my son’s sentence as he would get so frustrated. They catch up.
And so, moving on to play, were they rough and tumble? Sure. And rough play is OK. Absolutely. Because kids are coming to school with less developed vestibular systems. And that is a disadvantage in being ready for school from a physical perspective. And so that rough and tumble, rolling, hopping, skipping, jumping, falling down, getting back up, those are all important to the vestibular systems. Kids are not outside as much. I’m not an old guy who says they don’t go outside and play at all. No, they do, but not as much as previous generations. And they’re coming to school less ready to learn from a physical perspective because of the vestibular system. Let’s just know where we are in space, how to get from point A to point B. It supports muscles in the eye structures, which supports going from left to right on a page. It’s just really critical.
So the rough and tumble play is good for that. And what we want to avoid is overly aggressive. It’s aggressive play. That is what really needs to be curbed versus just rough and tumble, perfectly normal.
Suzy Shaw: And do the amount of electronics that are in our culture now, even for really, really little kids, which we didn’t have as much with our kids- I think our kids were right at the beginning of that. My boys are also in their later 20s. What is that doing to little kids’ brain development?
Mike Kuczala: I can safely say this because I don’t know if I can really explain what it’s doing to their actual brain development. But what’s critical is that it’s important in the fact that it is preventing them from moving.
So there’s more screen time. There’s more structured time. It prevents movement, which is so critical to so many things as far as brain development and learning that, yeah, if there’s excessive screen time, I would be concerned because of that. I did not grow up with that either. The most we had was Atari and I didn’t really like it that well. And so it just wasn’t a thing. But now people sit for far too long because of these video games and phones and computers and iPads, et cetera, et cetera. So for me, that’s the big thing. It may or may not be doing something to their brain based on addictive personality and neurotransmitters and dopamine receptors, et cetera. But I don’t want to speak to that too much.
Cheryl Bohn: So do you think those things also contribute to boys having less focus and not being able to sit still when they’re in the classroom? Yeah, I don’t know if it contributes to it. It certainly doesn’t help because their bottom line is they have the whole world in the palm of their hand. Right. I didn’t. We didn’t have that. When I used to come home from school and say, Mom, today we had a film strip. Right. And that’s that, you know. Today you go into a classroom and they’re simply not as interested because they have all this on their phone.
So, you better, you know, really have it going on in the classroom. There are other reasons for that, though. They a child can have ADHD. They could be, you know, I will say this. Boys are more of a visual spatial learners. If they see something, they want to go touch it. They want to get closer to it. They want to experience it where girls and everything I’m saying are generalizations. This is not always true. Just put that out there. But a girl learns maybe more effectively. They can observe better. Their powers of observation are better so they can sit back and have more episodic way of thinking.
So and also, they could have- this generation has weaker cores. We have that research than previous generations and sitting still for long periods of time is a problem. So the yeah, the fact that the classroom, the home life is different. Classrooms are different. But by and large, when you walk into a classroom, aside from the computers, it looks like it did 100 years ago. So there’s a number of reasons why focus and sitting still can be a problem.
Cheryl Bohn: Is there anything that moms can do at home to help a child that I mean, they’re not in the classroom. So and but when they come home, is there anything that you can suggest that moms can do to help their child? Who is one of those that doesn’t sit still and has a really difficult time focusing?
Mike Kuczala: Yeah, I’m going to sound like a broken record. Yeah, let them move. Let them move if you want them to be focused at other points in the day and don’t have them go to their room and just sit and do work. If they’re doing work, that’s fantastic. But after about a half hour set a timer, they need to be up. They need to go. They need to do something, even if it’s five or 10 minutes, do something else.
I think that is probably parents aren’t teachers. And so that’s probably the most important thing that they can do is to understand the brain body connection, know that these students, their children need to move in some form or fashion and allow them to do that. And in fact, take a break probably when they get home in order to do some physical activity.
Cheryl Bohn: I for kids- I have one boy and three girls but puberty is definitely one of the highlights of raising children. So, can you talk to us a little bit about what the boy’s brain is going through during puberty?
Mike Kuczala: Yeah, there’s I think two things that I’d like to highlight. So, at about five months of gestation, the number of neurons in the brain grows to about 200 billion. And right before a child is born, there’s a process called apoptosis where the neurotransmitters that are not useful and the connections that are not useful are pruned. And, you know, you’re born with about 86 to 90 billion brain cells, neurons. So about half of that goes away. That same thing happens during puberty. You get to about age 12 and apoptosis starts again. The brain figures out what’s not useful to it anymore. And it begins to prune those neural connections.
The other thing that happens, this is the big one, I think. And what is maybe even more interesting is that the limbic system, which is in the center of the brain, it consists of the amygdala- emotion, hippocampus- learning and memory, the thalamus- kind of sensory processing and letting the brain know what’s going on in the world. That gets to be fully developed in early puberty. While your frontal lobe, you know, your prefrontal cortex is not.
So, the ability to curb those emotions is not there yet because you have a fully functioning emotional brain, but the skill to actually curb the problem, emotions or to curb the risk taking or to make better decisions is not in place yet. So that’s really one of the things that you should understand about puberty and brain development.
Suzy Shaw: One of the things I found interesting as our kids went through elementary school and into middle school was that the school system seemed to be cutting down on the opportunities for them to move around. And Exuberance in particular needed to move around every single day during the school day in order for him to be able to focus. And sometimes the teachers would use that as a punishment- where if you didn’t get your morning work done, you can’t go out for free play. And as a mom, that was one of the things that I would go and advocate for the boys that they need to go, you know, we’ll handle that issue a different way.
But, you know, how important is it for that, you know, free play, that ability to run around in the middle of the school day for kids?
Mike Kuczala: Yeah, let’s flip that right on its head. You start giving them free play. You start giving them recess a time or two during the day. You start using movement throughout the school day. They’re going to get their work done. That’s what I’m after. You know, it’s like you should never punish a child by taking away physical activity. As a teacher, you are only hurting yourself.
Physical activity during the school day is your best friend as a classroom manager. It just we’ve seen research, decades of research now, and we get reports from all over the world. I’ve even had teachers call it magic. They need to move. We are brain body learners, and they simply are going to be better students when they are given the ability to move. And it’s a problem some places. Some people, some classrooms get it.
At one extreme third grade classroom. I was in Charleston, South Carolina. Every student had a piece of equipment, whether it was a strider desk or a pedal desk or treadmill desk, whatever it was, every student. And they were happy as could be, and they were focused. Then you have the other extreme where kids are just sitting the entire day. And that’s really difficult to deal with. So they need the opportunities throughout the day to move.
Cheryl Bohn: But you are seeing an increase with different school districts throughout the country that are starting to implement more movement into the classroom.
Mike Kuczala: Absolutely. And you have to keep in mind that this research is really- we wrote our first book was published in 2009 or 2010 and the research was minimal for us to really go on. It has exploded. So think about how recent that is. It’s only about 15 to 20 years ago. So as more people come up through the education system, this is a part of their training. I have books that are being used in college courses all over the country. They’re learning about this. And so someday they’ll become administrators. They’re going to understand the research and they’re going to demand that their school systems and teachers are providing opportunities like this for their students.
Suzy Shaw: When my boys went into the teen period, I called them “man cubs” because they were man sized. And yet their brains are still not so, you know, they’re still very immature. I’m sure with twins, a boy and a girl, you saw this, you know, in full-fledged motion where your daughter, I would imagine, seemed more mature than your son, even though they were the same age. So how do those hormones and the growth spurts and the brain emotional development into adulthood? How does that work and what can we do as moms to support that?
Mike Kuczala: Yeah, for me, this is environmental. I mean, the changes happen, obviously, hormonal changes; there are brain changes. We talked about the limbic system development and how that happens more quickly than the prefrontal cortex and frontal lobe. But if the environment is solid and people are there in support, they can be at their best as they transition into this adult social structure. And as long as there’s a lot of solid adults and for boys, you know, I know I know this isn’t always possible. I understand that. But a male, a strong male influence who is a solid influence in their life, that is your best bet.
And you are right. And I don’t think my twins would mind me saying that probably. So, yeah, my daughter was usually a little bit ahead. But now, as they’re into their late 20s, their brains are fully developed. They are just such great kids and they’re very mature. And supportive of each other. And it’s fantastic. It was fantastic to watch. It was different for each one, but certainly. So just being there for them and providing the structure and providing the consequence when needed.
You know, the terrible twos are kind of like the teen years. You’re finding out what you can get away with and what the parental response will be.
Cheryl Bohn: Every kid, every child is different. So, it’s very unfair. Once you figure it out with one, then yeah, something completely different. You have to do for the other. It’s just not fair.
Mike Kuczala: That’s why after twins we were done.
Cheryl Bohn: So, you know, when should a mom when do you feel that a mom should be concerned about too many video games? No lack of motivation or social withdrawal.
Mike Kuczala: My answer is an easy one- always. It’s just a new phenomena, comparatively speaking, over the last, I don’t know, 30, 40 years. And so I think the more someone has to do with it, the more they have to do with it. I’m on my screen, of course. It’s a part of our life now. We’re not going to get away from it. But when it’s taking away from wanting to be part of an activity or a group or you’re showing, or the child is showing less motivation about things because they just want to be on their video games. I think it’s best to try instead of trying to go backwards and taking it away is being preventative. And having a child know the guidelines up front that, you know, if this is going to be monitored, there are going to be structures to this. You can only do it for so long and then it simply has to go away.
At some point, they’re going to have to make their own decisions about that, obviously. But, you know, I think you should be aware of that and concerned about that on a moment-to-moment basis.
Cheryl Bohn: Do you have any advice for getting a child who might not be motivated to be active, to become more active? Are there certain smaller activities that would maybe get somebody interested that’s not athletic or something?
Mike Kuczala: You know, we do the things that we like. And so my advice is make it fun. There’s a way for it to be fun. And you might find that out in conversations with the with the child. What are they going to enjoy doing that they’re willing to do more of?
And, you know, I think at some point you can talk to them about the research and what the research says that just help. You know, we have mental health crisis in this country, you know, in large part related to technology. And what physical activity does for mental health is its crazy research off the charts. I’m not saying that people don’t need medication. Of course they do. But we can certainly use physical activity to help support our mental health.
Suzy Shaw: So in this teenage time, the seems to be a lot of risky behavior for males. And even though Ernest and Exuberance had very, very different personalities, they still stretch the box in different ways. Ernest was into fireworks and Exuberance was into leaping off just about anything.
So, you know, how does that play into typical brain development for boys?
Mike Kuczala: It’s normal. Everyone needs to know that who’s listening. And let’s go back to the gap between where my where my limbic system is and where my prefrontal cortex is. Just that is going to promote more risky behavior because I don’t have this process in place to say, “hey, that’s probably not a good decision.” It comes with time but teenage boys- they’re more prone to it because of that issue.
The other part of that is I think risk is about personality type as well. I am not a risk taker. I mean, I do to some degree, but I compare it to being out on my mountain bike with all my buddies who are, you know, they’re really good and they like taking risks and they will do daring things. That’s not my personality. So I think it comes down to that as well.
So it’s something that you can just watch some risk is great. Some risky behavior is good. You just have to really monitor and understand what’s going on in the brain.
Cheryl Bohn: So this is what we all want to know as moms is how do we take your kinesthetic practice and philosophy into our homes?
Mike Kuczala: Well, if I could just say first, I think it would hopefully be a personal philosophy that you become an advocate for your children in school because oftentimes change happens because parents to understand the research and to be an advocate for movement.
In their homes, you know, when children are at home and they’re doing work, you know, I would stop them after 30, 45 minutes and just do some fun movement activities there. You can go on the Internet and get all kinds of activities.
Encourage outdoor play, limit screen access, you know, for a period of time. And when they get into high school, they need it more and more. But and I also would think to live with as a role model. And I look at, you know, my entire family, my sisters, their husbands, they prioritize this. And so naturally, all of our children do, too. And so, I think by being a role model in the house, you couldn’t do any more for them. There’s being a role model is going to be more than anything that you can say. So that’s that’s one thing I would suggest is figure out what you want to do and either involve them or just be a great role model.
Cheryl Bohn: So if you’re if your child is studying for 30 minutes or so, are you saying, OK, go approach them, say, “hey, let’s just take a break. I suggest you take a break,” and then have them do like five minutes of an activity. And then they’re going to go back and you and be more focused.
Mike Kuczala: You have a more focused, alert and efficient brain when you do that. Yes.
Cheryl Bohn: Now, what’s just an example of an activity like something simple?
Mike Kuczala: Sure. You can play rock, paper, scissors, math with your children, have them stand up and show my hands right here. So rock, paper, scissors, and you show a number, your child shows a number. Maybe they show a three. The first person to add up the sum wins. So rock, paper, scissors, two and three, five rock, paper, scissors, seven. You can do subtraction. You can do division. You can do multiplication. You can do multiple hands. You can make it as complex as you want. That is a really simple example of an activity that you could do even with a high school student.
Cheryl Bohn: Yeah, I could say I could see having fun with that with my adult children. They’re all very everyone’s they’re all very competitive.
Mike Kuczala: Yeah. And if you know, here’s the all-time favorite of my audiences. It’s called “the mean face – funny face jump.” You’re facing your partner. You share a happy face. You share a mean face. Do it one more time just to make sure we got to turn back-to-back. And when I say ready jump, both participants are going to jump in the air and face each other. They’re going to show either their mean face or their funny face. And the idea is to match.
It just brings out the giggles and the smiles and all these good feel-good neurotransmitters and hormones. And then you have the blood flow throughout the brain and body. And it’s easier to get back to work then.
Suzy Shaw: Yeah, that’s a that’s a really wonderful tip. So, Mike, for our audience, if they want to learn more about your books and the kinesthetic learning, where should they go? And we will put this also on the mothersofboys.life website.
Mike Kuczala: Sure. My website is MikeKuczala.com. The last name spelled K-U-C as in Charles-Z as in zebra-A-L-A: MikeKuczala.com. You can find all the information there. You can go to Amazon and look up my books. I do have a website called ThePeakPerformingTeacher.com that is specific to that book, if you’re interested.
Suzy Shaw: So we ask all of our guests to give a mantra, share a mantra that a mom can say to herself as she’s working with her son to, you know, get him up and moving and learning. What would the mantra be?
Mike Kuczala: Be patient. Be persistent. With, I think, patience being the critical feature there.
I’ve had I used my last in public school teaching job was at the junior high level back when they were junior highs and other mostly middle schools. And I had so many parents talk to me and, you know, what’s wrong with my son motivated… just to be patient. I was not a good student. I barely graduated from high school, and had a miserable first two years in college. It just kicks in at some point. Be persistent, but be patient.
Suzy Shaw: I call that last phase the “remarkable transformation” because just when you think they’re never going to get it, you know, suddenly it just snaps together and they become a fully, you know, functioning adult. And it’s really wonderful as a parent.
Mike Kuczala: And you know what? Now our kids are our best friends. I can’t you know, the young parents out there, you don’t know yet. We just love hanging out with our kids and they do make the transformation they do. You just have to be there as kind of guardrails for a long time. And then they make it and they could turn into wonderful adults that you can enjoy and then maybe enjoy their families. And it’s really a wonderful process.
Cheryl Bohn: It is wonderful. Yeah, there’s so much joy when they’re young and you see the change and then there’s the same amount when they become adults and you spend time with them in a different way.
Mike Kuczala: Yeah, absolutely.
Cheryl Bohn: Well, thanks, Mike. This was just such a great conversation and really enjoyed having you here today. Good luck with your next book. We look forward to seeing what that is all about. And we’d love to have you come back again and talk some more.
Mike Kuczala: Sure. I appreciate that: Move More, Learn More. It’ll be out in the winter/ spring of 2026 with Teachers College Press at Columbia University. And the greatest thing about that book is that I have learned a lot because we have, as I mentioned to you before the show, about a dozen contributors. And I have learned so much and I would love to come back at some point.
Suzy Shaw: Wonderful. Thank you, Mike.
