Latest Resource
Why Communication With Boys Is Different (and How to Make It Easier) Boys are often described as ‘distracted,’ but the truth is—they’re incredibly tuned in. They notice your tone before your words, your posture before your questions, and your mood before you open your...
Postpartum recovery is more than diapers and sleepless nights — it’s physical, emotional, and deeply personal.
In this episode of The Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast, pediatric nurse and mother of six, Penny Tilghman, shares expert postpartum care tips to help new moms navigate the critical first weeks at home. With over 30 years of experience, Penny covers what to expect physically after birth, how to manage emotional ups and downs, and when to ask for help.
If you’re looking for real-life advice on newborn care, postpartum healing, and how to survive (and thrive) during the fourth trimester — this episode is a must-listen.
With over 30 years of nursing experience, Penny Tilghman brings both clinical expertise and heartfelt wisdom to every conversation. Her career has spanned pediatrics, community health, and evidence-based family programs, including her time as an educator for the Department of Aging and Disabilities.
As a mother of six — now ages 16 to 27 — Penny also understands firsthand the joys and challenges of raising children. After taking time off to focus on her growing family, she returned to nursing and hospital settings with a renewed passion for supporting mothers and newborns during the critical early days. Today, she blends medical insight with lived experience to help new moms navigate postpartum recovery with confidence and care.
The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Consult with a qualified professional for specific guidance.
Planning for a Healthy Postpartum Recovery – Tips from a Postpartum Nurse
Cheryl Bohn: Hello and welcome to the Mothers of Boys Survival Guide podcast. Your go-to resource for tackling the challenges of raising boys. I’m Cheryl Bohn and I’m joined by my co-host Suzy Shaw.
Suzy Shaw: So this topic was requested by a member of the MOB, Mothers of Boys. And next week we will follow up the conversation with an experienced psychologist. So stay tuned for more.
Cheryl Bohn: Well in today’s episode, we’re helping new moms feel more prepared for the postpartum journey. Nurse Penny Tilghman joins us today to share practical tips for a smoother recovery and a stronger start at home. Penny has been a nurse for over 30 years. She has extensive experience in the field of pediatrics and also spent time working as a coordinator for evidence-based programs and teaching for a local Department of Aging and Disabilities. She’s the mother of six children – ages 16 to 27. Penny took time off when her kids were young to spend time with their children and then later returned to the hospital setting to pursue working as a nurse with mothers and newborns.
Penny, we’re so happy to have you here with us today. Thank you for coming. Welcome.
Penny Tilghman: Thank you for having me.
Cheryl Bohn: I’ve had four kids and Suzy said two. And we know the roller coaster ride that comes with, you know, adjusting to having the new baby, the healing, the exhaustion when you get home and then trying to juggle life once you get home.
Suzy Shaw: Yeah, I can’t even imagine having six kids, Penny. I mean, because I stopped with hands- I had two hands. I had two children. So what was it like having six for, for goodness sakes?
Penny Tilghman: Busy. And still busy and busy when they’re small and babies and busy as adults and high schoolers. So, yeah, it’s just- it’s pretty crazy. But I think, I do believe that we’re only given, you know, what we can handle. And sometimes we don’t know what we can handle until we try it. And for me, I think it just worked out. All the first two were a bit challenging. They were 15 months apart. That was the hardest time. And then- to have I had six and 11 years. But what happened was that the older ones started jumping in and helping. Like most kids like to jump in and do something, you know. And my oldest daughter was very instrumental in helping with the younger kids. And she still does. So, I was grateful for that.
Suzy Shaw: And you have boys, too, right?
Penny Tilghman: Yes, I do. Number two is a boy. Number five is a boy. Good to have those boys in the mix, I think.
Suzy Shaw: You’re an expert for sure. So can you walk us through what happens in a mom’s body after birth, you know, hormonally, physically? I know there’s so much going on. And what should new moms expect in those first few weeks?
Penny Tilghman: So there’s a lot going on. There’s the obvious, healing from delivery. You’re looking at either, you know, if you had a vaginal delivery, you may have a tear. You may have lacerations with repair, episiotomies. So you’re looking at that part of it.
And you’re also watching your uterus, which has gotten pretty big with a big baby in it. And we’re watching it shrink down as you progress further into your postpartum period. So we’re looking, that’s that biggie right there, you’re seeing your stomach sort of shrink back to normal.
So with the uterus, we people complain, you know, there’s cramping. It hurts. But that’s sort of a good thing, because that’s how your uterus is supposed to- cramp so that it does shrink back to your pre-pregnancy size. So you’re seeing changes in your body in that way.
But also hormonally, levels start to sort of wax and wane in your can become a little teary. And there’s more to that. Yeah, hormone levels, you know, they start to dip. You get a little emotional and sometimes a little more than emotional. And you’re dealing with taking care of a baby and you’re dealing with taking care of yourself. And there’s a lot going on.
Cheryl Bohn: In your experience, what has been the biggest concern for moms as they head home?
Penny Tilghman: I think it depends. So if you’re a first time mom, you’re looking at- what do we do? We get a lot of people who, you know, they don’t have to change a diaper. They don’t know how to swaddle a baby. You’re breastfeeding and you want to make sure that you’re feeding your baby and that they’re getting enough. And so I think that it depends on if you’re a first time mom or you’re a multi para and you’ve had you’re having number six. You know, it’s sort of a different thing.
We all want to be that mom that does everything well, I think. I mean, as women, we want to be the good mom and we want to look good and we want to, you know, there’s all these expectations, I guess, for moms.
Cheryl Bohn: And you want to do it all. We want to do it all and do it all well.
Penny Tilghman: Yep. Yep. And also, I mean, hey, like, can I go upstairs? Am I going to be able to pick up my two year old when I get home? Am I going to be able to go for a walk? Can I cook dinner? Am I going to be able to do any of this? You know, there’s a lot going on for sure.
Suzy Shaw: I remember feeling very stressed and about breastfeeding with my first born, and he was a very big baby. He was obviously used to eating and I just think I was too exhausted to make much milk, you know. So what are all those elements that go into those early days when you bring your baby home and how do you deal with those?
Penny Tilghman: Like, well, first of all, know that when a baby is born, you don’t automatically have all this milk available, right? Also know that they’re the tummies, they’re about the size of a cherry, so they don’t need a lot either. But I feel like we can, you know, sometimes we’ll hand somebody a bottle. Oh, give him a bottle there. Oh, check in the whole thing. No, no, no, no. You know, and then there’s breastfeeding. Am I making enough for my baby? Do I have enough to support their needs? Just sort of know that you have to trust the process in your body’s ability to provide for that baby.
And with breastfeeding, too, there’s so many benefits to doing that. It’s pretty overwhelming. Know that when you’re breastfeeding, your hormone levels, the oxytocin, is also helping your uterus cramp to get back into your pre pregnancy size, but it’s also helping you bond with your baby because it’s the love chemical. And so you’re basically looking at your baby and you’re falling in love with it. You know, you’re bonding well. And it’s just a beautiful process, in my opinion. But, you know, that being said, it can be very stressful for some women as well.
Suzy Shaw: So I’ve read that one in seven women, approximately, 14 % experience postpartum depression, PPD, after childbirth. So what are the warning signs that you suggest that moms look out for as you’re preparing them to discharge from the hospital? And what should they look for if they’re feeling off?
Penny Tilghman: So with postpartum depression, we give everybody a scale to fill out. We look at numbers, and it looks very much like a scale that you might see at a doctor’s office when they assess you for just depression.
But if you’ve experienced depression before you became pregnant or you had a history of anxiety, you may see those symptoms become a little bit more prevalent after you’ve had a baby because you’re dealing with those hormone changes.
So we’re looking at things like joy, like what brings you joy? Do you want to hold your baby? Do you want to care for your baby? Are you feeling sad? Are you sleeping? I mean, there’s so many things that are different that are not your baseline that all of a sudden become, you know, a little bit more. Are you sad? Are you crying more? It’s not just the baby blues anymore, which I think a lot of people experience initially due to the hormone changes, but it becomes a little bit more exaggerated.
Cheryl Bohn: Well, how soon can it come on? Can it be sudden or is it usually a few days later? Is it all of the above?
Penny Tilghman: I think that when you’re experiencing the baby blues, you may see that show up while you’re in the hospital. Maybe the first couple of days, but it becomes more of an issue if it continues. And even a couple of weeks after you’ve had the baby, maybe even six weeks later, you’re finding that I just don’t feel good. I just can’t do this.
And that comes on due to, well, anxiety, being tired, you’re exhausted, you’re not sleeping well, expectations, just feeling like you can’t do this anymore. Those will be reasons to call your provider or if you feel like harming yourself, you feel like harming the baby or anybody else around you that it’s even more severe.
Suzy Shaw: And so the symptoms seem to be more exacerbated, feeling overwhelmed, feeling depressed, you know, beyond exhaustion, more emotional roller coasters than typical. What are the steps to do when you feel like that?
Penny Tilghman: So when you feel like that, if you’re at home, I think it’s important to know who are your support people? Who can I call? Who can I rely on to come over and let me nap, or to feed the baby, or to play with my two year old, or to do a load of laundry, or all those things that we’re trying to do. and we’re feeling overwhelmed by it. Also realize that there’s no perfect way to mother, you know, your expectations of yourself are probably the harshest, right? Like, don’t you think? You’re like, I expect myself to be able to do this. I’m sure they do, you know, I want to look right. I want to be that mother that, “oh my gosh, did you see her? She looks so good. And look at our kids. They’re all well dressed. And, you know, we have it together.” Realize that you don’t have to have it all together all the time, or any of the time at that.
Cheryl Bohn: Do you talk to the moms about that when they’re leaving the hospital? Do you help them set realistic expectations for themselves?
Penny Tilghman: If they seem open to it, yes, I do.
Cheryl Bohn: What do you think are the most important things that they should focus on to make sure that they are supported when they go home and that they stay healthy and they have the right and proper recovery. What are the most important aspects of having that kind of experience when the mom goes home?
Penny Tilghman: It’s important for a mother to focus on taking care of herself. We talked to the moms about warning signs, physical warning signs as far as recovery. They’ll have a list of when to call your doctor, when to call 911; expect this. If you had a vaginal delivery, and you go home and all of a sudden you pass a large clot the size of an egg or larger, call your doctor. Let somebody know. If you’re soaking through one more pads, if you’re starting to get dizzy, if you’re not eating well, if you’re not, you know, all these things that have to do with a mother’s health, I think are very important.
And if you’re breastfeeding on top of that, of course, that can lead to more stress. So stress management. Don’t spend all day in bed, you know, try to get outside a little bit.
Suzy Shaw: What are the signs that mom should look for when something might not be healing well or there are signs of concern?
Penny Tilghman: So if you had a vaginal delivery, it’s going to be a little bit different than if you had a C-section.
So with a vaginal delivery, if things aren’t healing properly, you may start to bleed more than you were bleeding at the hospital. Normally the bleeding will diminish and it’ll become something similar to a light period. Right? And that will pretty much subside within at least six weeks.
So, if you have an episiotomy or a tear, that’s something else you want to consider. Is there a foul discharge? Are you experiencing more pain instead of less? Does it feel hot? Are there any signs of infection when you assess that area?
Same with a C-section, you’re going to be looking at that incision a couple of times a day to make sure that there’s no redness or swelling or any kind of oozing coming from the incision site. That everything is still intact. It’s not open. That you’re keeping it clean. If you’re taking a shower and you’re standing in the shower and letting the soap sort of run over and make sure it’s clean. Towel yourself off with one towel and maybe take a clean towel and clean the incision site or just dab it to make sure that it’s staying dry. Make sure that it does stay dry because we know that if the incisions are moist that it can lead to infections. So those things.
If your pain level is, it continues to be 7 out of 10, then you’re going to call your doctor. You know, there’s something wrong. You may not be healing right. So there’s no harm in calling your physician. It’s better to ask for help than to try to soldier through it.
Cheryl Bohn: Well, I was always told to sleep when the baby sleeps. Is that advice you give?
Penny Tilghman: In the hospital.
Cheryl Bohn: When they go home, do you still, do you still give that advice?
Penny Tilghman: I would, I would give that advice because when we’re, we’re sleep deprived. We’re exhausted and you have to learn to sort of sleep when the baby sleeps, but also realize that just because your baby’s asleep, doesn’t mean you don’t have to feed it.
I think I do see a lot of people in the hospital like, “oh, the baby was asleep. So I didn’t want to wake him up to feed him.” And I’m like, no, you really have to feed the baby. So, you know, if you’re breastfeeding, you need to be feeding every two to three hours. If you’re formula feeding, you probably need to be feeding every three to four hours. So that gives, that gives the mom periods of time to sleep, I think. If your baby sleeps… Yeah… I had one that didn’t like to sleep.
Suzy Shaw: I had a colicky one, and that was really hard. He probably wasn’t colicky, but he didn’t sleep much. So how do you know where the line is between just overall exhaustion and being overwhelmed ends and postpartum like depression begins?
Penny Tilghman: I think if you have any of those concerns, you should call your physician and talk to them about the problems you’re having. Never be afraid to reach out to anybody. I mean, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, over-exhausted, you need to know that it’s okay. You’re, you’re going through a lot right now. There’s a learning curve, you know, and we have to know when to reach out and get help from our health care professionals, or if it’s a 911 call, or if it’s a “call your friend” moment, then that’s okay to do that.
Cheryl Bohn: Yeah. I think it’s important to stress that. Women, we don’t have to act like we’re super strong and we can get through it and we don’t need help. I think you can’t go wrong asking for help.
Are there any, are there any specific items you think the moms should have at home for the recovery or any supplies that are, must have supplies to make sure that they physically are recovering?
Penny Tilghman: So, when we send our patients home from the hospital, they have pads. They have dermaplast and witch hazel pads, which actually help with the tear or the lacerations or, you know, episiotomies, or whatnot.
We send them home with something called a sitz bath. Do you guys remember sitzs baths?
Suzy Shaw: Oh, I remember, I remember those. Yeah. Woo.
Cheryl Bohn: I think I used it for the first month, actually.
Penny Tilghman: Yeah, yeah. Especially if you had large babies like you guys did, those, those come in handy.
We send people home with Tylenol and Motrin. If you take them at the same time, it gives you a really nice adequate amount of pain relief. So maybe have some Tylenol and Motrin at home to help with that. Dermoplast. Dermoplast with witchhasel pads. Yeah, those are nice.
Cheryl Bohn: Must haves.
Penny Tilghman: Yeah, must haves. Preparation H, if you have a hemorrhoid or think you might have a hemorrhoid.
Suzy Shaw: So I had horrible, horrible hemorrhoids. Thank you very much, Ernest. And I remember discovering what I’ve called since, magic hemorrhoid foam (Proctofoam). And it was some sort of foam that the doctor ordered and boom.All the difference in the world.
Cheryl Bohn: Wow, magic foam.
Suzy Shaw: Magic foam. So I don’t know what it’s really called, but it was magic hemorrhoid foam. I’d just go to the doctor and say, please give me magic hemorrhoid foam.
Penny Tilghman: Anything that works, right? That’s great.
Cheryl Bohn: Penny, before we wrap up, are there any other resources that you can provide to our listeners to help them as they leave the hospital and make their journey home?
Penny Tilghman: Well, first of all, your physician.
Second of all, if you feel like harming yourself or the baby, call 911. That’s a 911 call. If you have chest pain, seizure, any difficulty breathing, thoughts of harming yourself or the baby, you’re going to call 911. Okay, don’t hesitate.
Postpartum Support Hotline 1-800-944-4PPD (1-800-944-4773), postpartum depression.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 1-1833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) TLC-MAMA, I love that.
Suzy Shaw: So, Penny, we’re going to next week interview a psychologist who specializes in counseling specifically postpartum depression. And I will take resources from you and the doctor and create a resource page on the website. Visit mother of boys.life to get more resources.
And we ask all of our guests on the show to give us a mantra, something that a mom can say to themself, you know, in their mind. So what would a mantra be for you as a mom’s walking out the door?
Penny Tilghman: Fill your cup with the things that are most important and let the rest filter in. So your priorities are yourself and the baby. Don’t worry about anything else. Let it go.
Suzy Shaw: Wonderful.
Cheryl Bohn: Well, thank you, Penny. It’s been such a wonderful time having you here today. And I feel like our MOB community is walking away with really great practical advice that they can use as they transition home. So thank you so much for your time and all your wisdom and particularly all the compassion that you show the moms and the newborns in the job that you do. So thank you so much.
Penny Tilghman: Thank you. And thank you for allowing me to share. This is really a gift. Yeah, thank you for the invitation to be on the Mothers of Boys. So I hope that something I said can help someone else have a better experience or a great experience with their time as a mother.
Cheryl Bohn: And thank you all for joining us today. Follow the MOB on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and your favorite podcast platform. Be kind to yourselves, moms, and have a great week.
